It’s an animal world out there they say. A world of intrigue, mystery and opportunity! Can’t a pig enjoy the simple pleasures of a back-rub and a tall refreshing glass of juice on the beach?
Those pesky weasels are always muscling in on our business and messing things up. Not to mention the irritating mayor with his glamorous wife, always whispering in Betty’s ear about the latest gossip and places to go!”
Anyway it’s time for you to meet the “family”…
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Boris and Betty: The Mafia Power Couple
Don’t make me angry unless you want to come face to face with the “Baconating” equipment in the basement. After years of making it out of the slums through hard work and the occasional quiet murder, I’ve finally built what I dreamed of: an organization of pigs for pigs!
Some of our sources of money might not be the most “legit” out there but, hey, who minds a few notes going missing here or there. Sometimes you have to get tough to get on you know?
It’s hard work running the organization and sometimes… things get messy. Still, there are plenty of small pleasures in life. One day hopefully we can finally avenge the terrible treatment of us pigs by the other animals, damn that will be a good day!
Through it all Betty has been my constant companion. Smart as a tack and fine looking in a slinky dress, that lady has what it takes. The Bonnie to my Clyde as it were, or the the Alabama to my Clarence!
Borisinho: the Little Terror
Little Boris came into the world after one of those happy accidents after a heist we pulled off. The little fella has a lot to learn but takes after me in all the right ways. His temper might get the better or him sometimes but he’s trying to be the best little mafioso there is.
Of course Betty spoils the bejeezus out of him so he has the willpower of a wet pretzel. But there is time to fix that. Maybe I need to send him to the military or something!
Percy: the Dogsbody
Not family, but always around. This little chap showed up when I put his Grandma in the dungeon for mismanaging one of the production plants. Debts to pay my friend. Turns out a lot of his family and friends owe me – we’ll Percy can help make good on those debts. Time to get to work little fella!
Peggy: the Driver
Every self-respecting boss needs a kick-ass driver. Peggy seems to like Percy a bit too much but apart from that she’s a top member of the team. She can fix any of the wagons we have in the garage and get us out of sticky situations whenever needed.
Punky: the Fixer
Time was when I used to enjoy knocking heads together myself, but … getting the blood out of your shirt always takes such a lot of scrubbing. Punky is a solid chap. A little clumsy at times, but he gets the message across so to speak. Not a lot of people refuse to pay up when Punky and some of the others on the “customer service” team pay them a visit.
More soon …
That’s enough of a history lesson for now. Off to enjoy some Chateau la Cerdo with dinner!
Boris’ diary, some random Tuesday…